why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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