just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
