he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
