...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
