I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
