your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
