if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
