Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I wish I could teleport
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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