Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize