I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
being pregnant is like rehab
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
