Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
