Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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