I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
