I'm going to jail i love you
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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