whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
