stop calling my apartment porn island.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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