He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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