i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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