I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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