Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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