I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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