We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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