Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
