One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize