love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
