Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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