i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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