Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
you inspire me to be a worse person
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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