I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
