okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
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