Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
So squirting runs in the family.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
