Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Randomize
