You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
