omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
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