I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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