i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
My day in three words: secret purse cake
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
