i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
vagina is talking i cant
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
