you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
