sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
