i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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