I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
