He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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