He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Randomize
