so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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