Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
