i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
