She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
