Where are you?
In a non slutty way
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
