We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
