Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
