no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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