soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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