smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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