brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
