He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
