Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
